I’m excited to share with you a new series I’m starting called, “Talk Till Dawn”, I want this to be about my everyday life, the things I’m reading, eating, my everyday ups and down, along with photos that I’ve taken over the week.
I haven’t decided yet how often this will be, right now I’m just going to get it going and see what comes of it. I encourage you to share with me similar situations and we can all support one another.
My life and home is far from perfect even though I always share with you pretty home decor picture. Now from time to time I’ll give you a look at how things can get out of control like everyone else’s life.
This will be one of the most heart breaking post I’ll ever write. If you follow along with “Talk Till Dawn” you know in the last episode I was traveling to Florida to help my Mom out while she was having some health problems.
I got there and found her very weak, but happy to see me. She was diagnosed with a incurable untreatable lung disease in January after having a bout of phenomena. She had a 3 week stay in the hospital where they gave her antibiotic and steroids and she seemed to be recovering and was sent home.
She had a hard time getting her strength back, but after time she did bounce back and came to my house for the month of June. We had a wonderful month together sitting on the front porch and talking the evenings away.
She returned back to Florida only to have the phenomena return, and become hospitalized again. Once she was released and went home I decided she’d put me off from coming long enough so I headed south.
I was quite concerned when I got to her place, she was on oxygen full time, very weak, and not eating well. I headed straight to her doctor and didn’t leave the office until they had a referral and an appointment at the Cleveland Clinic set up.
We loaded her up and made the trip to Cleveland Clinic. While she was having a CT San something happened and she was no longer able to breath. She was rushed to the ER where they did everything they could but she lost the battle and passed away on October 10th.
I’m heartbroken by the loss and wonder how I’ll ever do life without her. One of the biggest voids in my life is talking to her. We talked on the phone at least once a day every day, and I now feel like I have no one to talk too and I’m keeping a lot to myself.
There was no explanation for her having lung disease, and that makes it even worse for us. The doctors asked all kind of questions trying to figure it out, and our only answer to the questions were NO.
I’m currently in Florida again along with my brother taking care of my moms belongings. Thank goodness she wasn’t a clutter bug and had her final wishes in place, making it much easier on us. We’ve decided to have a party with balloons and people sharing favorite memories of my Mom rather than a traditional funeral.
We want to celebrate her life rather than her death. It will be another hard day for me and as of yet I haven’t allowed myself to have a break down. I keep telling myself I have to get through one more day, and one more thing before I can fall apart.
I miss her terribly but she was suffering those last few days and I knew letting her go was the right thing to do. I think of all the things she’ll miss in my kids lives and that makes me sad, but I do have peace knowing she’s with Jesus and no longer struggling to take a breath.
I know life goes on but for me right now I’m selfishly wishing she was here.
Until next time take care and thank you for spending the time talking till dawn with me today!