I’m excited to share with you a new series I’m starting called, “Talk Till Dawn”, I want this to be about my everyday life, the things I’m reading, eating, my everyday ups and down, along with photos that I’ve taken over the week.
I haven’t decided yet how often this will be, right now I’m just going to get it going and see what comes of it. I encourage you to share with me similar situations and we can all support one another.
My life and home is far from perfect even though I always share with you pretty home decor picture. Now from time to time I’ll give you a look at how things can get out of control like everyone else’s life.
Can you believe January is over? I see so many people on IG and in their blogs sharing Spring décor. Spring certainly hasn’t sprung in my neck of the woods. At this time we’re snowed in, nothing is open, and the temps are too dangerous to be out it. Thankfully we have a freezer full of meat, and a pantry full of things to go with it, so all’s good here.
You’d think with being snowed in I’d get up the ambition to paint my kitchen cabinets but so far that’s not the case. I did clean my office, add a few warm touches to the guest bedroom, and watch a little Netflix though.
I’ve talked about my Instant Pot in other posts about how intimidating it is but I decided to make steel cut oats in it and I love how fast there done. It normally took 4 hours in the crock-pot but only 4 minutes in the Instant Pot. I’ve never liked how they turn out on the stove so this method is awesome. I make a batch to last 4 days and reheat it when I want some. I thought about doing a roast in it but chickened out and did the oven method at the last minute. Why change it when I know it works. Maybe someday I’ll venture out and try more things in it.
I’m still having a really hard time with the loss of my Mom. It’s been three months and I still wake up every day with that horrible panicked feeling of her being gone. I keep second-guessing every move I made in her last few days. I know I made the right decisions and I couldn’t have done anything different but I still replay it over and over again in my head.
I feel like I’m robbing the joy from others in my life because they’re not getting the true me right now. I’ve even snapped at the girls at work (which isn’t like me) but death is constantly on my mind. Now I’m afraid of losing more people from my life. I have to find a way to get past it and not cry on a daily basis.
I’ve done really well on my no spend mission. I really only want to keep the things in our home that having meaning, function, and are necessary. I cleaned out my linen closet and took things to our local Hospice store to donate. I don’t want to purchase things just because I like them. I have too much of that stuff already, and I’m weeding it out if I don’t have a place for it. Our house has lots of windows and very few walls so décor items need to be kept to a minimum with no place to hang stuff.
I’d like to replace a few pieces in our home, the ones that aren’t made from real wood. The IKEA pieces can go and as I find a similar piece made sturdy and of real wood I’d like to pick it up. I know I just said I didn’t want to purchase anything but with age I get wiser and want substantial pieces that will last a life time in our home.
I’d love for hubby to make us a new bed frame, but I haven’t suggested it to him yet. I did show him a drawing for making a new shoe rack and he went right out and bought the wood, but so far I haven’t seen the rack, lol. In all honesty he’s probably forgot all about it and I hate to bug him about it.
Has anyone started thinking about gardening yet? I go to the farmers market for our veggies, I can’t keep the deer out of the garden no matter what I try, but I am going to try and grow pumpkins again this year. I have seed left over so I’ll poke them in the ground amongst my catmint and see what happens. Sunflowers, zinnias, and cosmos also do nicely here and the deer don’t bother them.
All my raised beds need a heavy dose of poo or some sort of organic soil enhancer. I added some stuff from a local greenhouse to my whiskey barrels last year and my annuals did really well in it so I think I’ll grab a few more bags to use this year.
Until next time take care and thank you for spending the time talking till dawn with me today!
Dawn please don’t be hard on yourself for grieving for your Mom…it is ok to grieve…Yes, we are sure having extreme cold here in Mich this week. My friend is laying her Hubby to rest in a few minutes and I cannot imagine standing out in this cold for even 5 minutes as it is brutal….I am sure thinking of Spring!! It cannot come soon enough! Stay warm!!
Jeanie, I’m so sorry to hear about your friends hubby. What a terrible loss and a terrible time to endure the weather. I feel for her.
Dawn thanks…It is a tough time for her but she has lots of supporters to help her….Prayers for you in your grieving of your Mom,,,,
Give yourself time. You will gradually slip into what I refer to as “My New Normal”. I lost my husband 9 years ago. The absence is always there, but you learn to adjust, to appreciate and to have joy in your life. I don’t think you ever get over your grief, but I think you learn to handle it. A song, a phrase or a memory can trigger a tear, but the tears are of what was, a fond memory. Take all those memories and use them to move on. I am so sorry for your loss. Know that you are not alone and this is a journey we all will go through one time or another. We can support one another in thoughts and prayers. You are in mine.
Linda, Thank you so much for keeping me in your prayers you’ll never know how much that means to me.
Hi Dawn I love your blog & always look forward to reading it! I want to tell you, I lost my gr mother back in 2011, she was a very special lady & the sweetest gr mother! I have those times when it hits me & have that rushing panic feeling through my heart! I miss her so much & would give anything to set with her on the porch & shell peas & laugh & talk like we used to do. She was a blessing for sure! It helps to have little projects going around the house. I live in the south & the weather is back & forth, cold now & warm by wknd. But yes I have been thinking about my flower gardening & all my plans. My husband raked a huge pile of pine straw for me to put in my beds as soon as the weather allows. Always makes everything so fresh & new! For now I’m doing inside things too like cleaning out closets, organizing & I painted my claw ft tub a lighter color. Washing curtains & so on! These little things in life that makes me feel good & content! ?
Teresa, You sound like you’ve been quite productive with things. I too need to keep busy or my mind starts thinking. I guess we never really get over losing someone we love we just find a new normal, sadly.
I’m so sorry your still hurting so much. Remember your mom loved you very much and she would not want to see you hurt like this. When you pass away and we all do you would not want your children to hurt like that. Don’t be so hard on yourself. Move forward and remember all the good times you two had together. That is what your mom would want.
Judy, Thanks for the kind words I actually went through her recipes this week and made some decisions about what to keep and not to keep. It felt good looking through them without crying.
When my mother passed away, it was difficult, but my daily life did not change because my mother did not live near me. My sister on the other hand struggled for a long time because my mother had lived with them for several years. She had her own little apartment, but she ate all her meals with them. My sister’s daily life changed drastically and I know it took a long time to adjust.
My thoughts are with you and all my friends in COLD areas this week. Stay warm and cozy.
Carol, My mom stayed with us in the summer lived in our guest house for years and I talked to her everyday by phone so I sure am feeling the void. I know everyone has to adjust in their own time, but it sure seems like the sadness will never end. It was hot today a whole 20 degrees.
It’s ok to not be ok for a while. As someone a little older, I have come to see there really are different seasons in life and they do change. It is indeed about finding that “new normal”. Hang in there, easier days will come. It’s wonderful you had such a good mother, and the best of her lives on in you.
Joy, Your comment made me cry I’m so glad I have wonderful readers here that are so supportive. Hugs
Hi, Dawn, As I write this, we have just lost 2 friends and a cousin within the week so I’m feeling kind of overwhelmed, but I’m so glad that God is my comforter and pray that He will comfort the families of the bereaved. Grief is a process, for sure. I lost my beautiful MIL 2 years ago and I sure do miss her as well as my mom and dad and brother so much. I can honestly say that the best that we can hope for is to carry on their life’s legacy of traditions, memories and love and know that we will see them again one day.
Your home is looking so welcoming even though the weather outside is frightful. Right now we just had about 3″ of the slippery white stuff, but we’ll endure and think Spring soon! Take care and take time for yourself and time to heal. Prayers.
Susan, I’m so sorry you’ve lost so many friends and family lately. It’s never a good time I know and our hearts never fully heal. I tend to keep things inside more than ever now and I know one day I’ll see my Mom again.