Talk Till Dawn – 35

Creative Cain Cabin's Talk Till Dawn Series

I’m excited to share with you a new series I’m starting called, “Talk Till Dawn”, I want this to be about my everyday life, the things I’m reading, eating, my everyday ups and down, along with photos that I’ve taken over the week.

My life and home is far from perfect even though I always share with you pretty home decor picture. Now from time to time I’ll give you a look at how things can get out of control like everyone else’s life.

Snowy Christmas Trees

Hi everyone, it’s time for a recap of my November. I know I’m a couple of days late getting this out but honestly I just forgot to post it.  I’ll warn you now this won’t be an upbeat post but it’s time I share with you what I’ve been struggling with and I’m assuming many of you may be too.

This has been an awful year; our world is in such a state that there are days I seem to cry about everything.  I’m struggling with extreme anxiety and depression, some days I have to force myself to get anything accomplished.

I’ve had a hard time with my Grama Red, she’s in rehab due to her hip popping out of place and being there to strengthen her leg muscles.  I can’t go visit her due to the VIRUS, she’s blind and depends on her family on a daily basis.  I’m heartbroken I can’t be there for her. I call her twice a day every day to check on her but it’s not even close to being the same as seeing her, taking her doughnuts, and watching here enjoy her nightly bloody mary.

Winter Planter Idea, Winter Garden Cart, Log Cabin, Decorating With Pine Clippings, Snow Covered Winter Planter

This is so unfair that our elderly are being kept from their loved ones when they need us most.  She is 101 and taking it like a real trooper but I fear that she’ll eventually break too before she’s recovered.  I do everything to encourage her and let her know how much I miss her and how proud of her I am that she’s doing all she can to recover and get home.  I put on a happy face, and voice even though I’m dying inside.

I know people who have died alone in a hospital because loved one can’t be with them and my heart just can’t take it any longer.  I haven’t been on social media for a year and I now don’t even read the news it just makes my anxiety worse.  I’ve never been like this before in my life.

I can’t sleep or eat and my mind is in a fog some days.  I seldom leave the house only to get a few groceries and go to church.  Thank God for church it’s the only time my heart isn’t heavy and I feel close to others that are struggling like I am.  If you have a spare prayer I’d appreciate you sending one up for me.

Snow Covered Fence

I do know a huge portion of our population feels like I do right now and its so sad.  I’m thankful I have God, a family, food in the freezer, a roof over my head, and friends because so many don’t have what I have. I’ve never had those winter blues from lack of sunshine and cold Michigan days but I sure know what people mean now when they make mention of them. 

I did just a little decorating for winter in the house, I didn’t even put up a tree, that’s why I’m not calling it Christmas decorating. I’m not feeling very festive so I hope you’ll keep dropping in to read my posts without all the Christmas glam this year. Knowing you’ll drop by is a big reason I keep on writing and I enjoy all your comments.

Thank you for listening today and God Bless you all!

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22 Comments

  1. Debra Oliver says:

    Hi Dawn, thanks so much for honestly sharing your thoughts and feelings. I think there are so many of us that have some degree of depression and anxiety this year. Your GMA’s situation is so sad; my MIL is 95 and my husband hasn’t been able to see her since March. She’s in memory care and doesn’t recognize him, but it’s still hard to know she doesn’t have anyone to come and visit. I’ve had a bunch of autoimmune health problems this year and between that and not seeing my family or able to get out it’s been really tough, so I really understand where you are coming from. Please take care of yourself and your gma and you will be in my prayers. Don’t worry about Christmas decor, just take care of yourself. Be blessed Dawn, xo Deb

    1. Debra, Thank you so much for the words of encouragement and it is nice to know others are struggling just like I am. I don’t wish it on anyone that’s for sure but I do know I’m not alone. I think it’s just heartbreaking what is going on with our elderly. I know my Grama would take the risk of getting sick over not being with her family and she’s voiced it. The emotional struggle is much more devastating than we know, and there’s so many going through it. Prayers for you Deb with your health and your Hubbies Mom, I pray he get’s to see her soon. I appreciate you taking the time to read and comment and share your hurts. Blessings to you my friend.

  2. Im so sorry to hear your so depressed and filled with anxiety. I know so many of us are right now. I’m like you and don’t watch the news at all. Im just trying to get through everyday one day at a time. I will pray for you and grama red. Please remember God is still the one in control.
    Hugs Judy

    1. Judy, thank you for your prayers and yes I do know God is in control and that’s the only way I’m making it through each day. My Bible and prayer time gets longer and longer every day that’s for sure. Hugs back at ya my friend 🙂

  3. Good morning from a fellow Michigander 32 and sunny!! thank God for sunshine..Prayers for you and Grandma Red..I took care of my blind father so I can only imagine your anxiety in not seeing her, So far we are staying safe and healthy here and I am praying it continues for all of us and everyone else! I keep reminding myself that we are blessed…Take care of yourself and I will keep you and Grandma Red in my prayers…

    1. Jeanie, it is nice when we actually see the sun isn’t’ it. It’s out today and it feels good on my weary bones. Grama Red’s spirits are still up but she has pneumonia now and I’m more than concerned. I keep praying and I know God has a plan. Thank you so much for your prayers it’s a blessing to know you are praying for me. Have a wonderful Christmas my friend.

  4. You are not alone! So many of us are struggling with this in varying degrees. I couldn’t agree more though that our sick and elderly that are having to suffer alone is the worst tragedy from all of this. I think many of them are dying from loneliness and despair. You are in my thoughts and prayers. I enjoying reading your blog and love your style. Please take care of yourself! XOXO

    1. Shellie, I so appreciate your prayer. God knows just who to send to my blog and just who will be a blessing in my life. I’m truly glad I opened up to all my readers, it has taken some of my heavy burden away. Blessings to you and thank you for your prayers.

  5. Anita Roth says:

    I know how you feel. I have suffered from anxiety and depression for many years and what is going on in our world just adds to it. Know that you are not alone. I don’t know what I would do with out the lord in my life. The bright spot in my life now is I have a new granddaughter born last week! I just try to concentrate on that! You are in my prayers! I have always look forward to your posts!

    1. Anita, I’m so happy that you have a new baby to take your mind off this world we live in; what a blessing. I’ve always believed God sent my son at a time when my mom was deeply depressed, that little baby saved her life in more than one way and she was forever grateful. I’m sorry to hear you are also struggling and I will keep you in my prayer.

  6. The “prisoner of war” sequestration of the elderly, whether ill or simply in quarantine in a hospital or other facility is the BIGGEST travesty in this country right now. These places are full of PPE, sterile environment devices, more than enough resources and ingenuity to provide safe areas for families to visit and support their loved ones, friends, etc., yet no one is allowed in??? Meanwhile, I see non-masked basketball teams and fans carrying on as usual, close in contact, spitting and breathing in each others’ faces, colliding, sweating all over the place?? I see professional football players doing the same, and getting in each other’s unmasked faces to yell and scream when something doesn’t go their way. Really?? If one were a conspiritorialist, one might surmise that the plan is to rid the Earth of the elderly, ill or not…..HANG in there, Dawn, your Gramma needs you as much as you need her, and I hope you can find a way to see this through so she can return to her home and visits with you (to McDonald’s, etc 🙂 )

    1. Lisa, well said. The elderly are a burden on our society, on the insurance companies and they government would like just young productive people to remain. Those elderly were once very productive people. My Grama raised 5 children on her own, she did without and took jobs no one would do just to feed and keep a roof over their heads. I am beyond heartbroken but the Lord will get me through it somehow. Grama now has pneumonia and is on oxygen and I want answers and I want in to see her. My anger is flaring up and I’m so worried for her. Thank you for commenting and I’ll hang on to a McDonalds trip with her, that always makes me smile.

  7. Nancy Cox says:

    Dawn I am so sorry you are having to face this. Depression and anxiety are two horrible things. I have had it for years and am now able to control it with medication. I just take one pill a day of Paxil and about once every other month I take an adivan if my anxiety is bad. But my life feels normal again. I fought taking medication for a long long time but I am so glad I relented. God bless you and I will definitely remember you in my prayers

    1. Nancy, I am like you and have fought taking meds. I did get and fill a prescription but have yet to take it. I don’t know why I’m fighting it so much but I am. I’ve never been in a place like this before and I hate it. I may have to resort to the meds to take the edge off. Thank you for the advice and the prayers. Hugs!

  8. Dawn, I am sitting here crying about your Gramma Red. My heart goes out to the two of you. You know my mom passed earlier this year, right? Well, I have never felt anxiety or depression but I can’t get anything done either! The house is a mess because I dragged out all the Christmas totes and they continue to sit. I don’t go anywhere much and haven’t for a long time because I was taking care of my mom. I do hope you find something that lifts your spirits because Gramma Red needs your strength. Love you, girl!

    1. Jane, I am so sorry you lost your Mom, mine passed 2 years ago and I’m still not right from it and now more things are heaped on top of that grief. I will be praying for you, it seems we are in the same frame of mind right now. God is good and I have to keep leaning into Him. God Bless you my friend.

  9. Greetings lovely ladies who have commented. I lost my extremely wonderful fantastic mother 14 years ago. She was killed in a horrible auto accident. I miss her sooo much. We were the best of friends. 5 weeks prior to the my 44 yrar old brother commited suicide. How do I cope? The power of prayer. I am able to deal with all the anxiety of grief anger and regret by talking to the Lord. I receive guidance and strength. Iam the mother of 4 adult offspring and 5 beautiful grandchildren. My husband is a hard working loving man.Those are my blessings. Pray for guidance by Gods Grace and to be led by your Faith to a place of safety in these turbulent times.

    1. Elaine, Amen, girl! I needed to read this today. I like you rely on the Lord and that’s the only reason I am still standing and fighting. You’ve had some terrible times that only God can overcome. I will continue to be in prayer and put my faith in God. Thank you for the reminder and God Bless!

  10. We’re all down in spirit this year but we must rise above it. Our Lord deserves that!! We should be celebrating the birth of our Lord and Savior and not dwelling on the condition of our world. This old world has always been full of sin and filled with problems of all kinds. Our faith must be in Him and not on the condition of our world. Let us all celebrate Jesus as He could be coming soon. I pray that your season is blessed and filled with great happiness.

    1. Betsy, I agree it’s easy to get caught up in what’s wrong and it overtakes our thoughts, time, and actions. I too put my trust in the Lord and know one day He will return and all our sorrow and pain will be gone. Thank you for your comment, and God Bless you.

  11. Susan Cogan says:

    Hi, Dawn,
    I’m so late reading this post from November, but I wanted to encourage you by saying that God loves you and only wants the best for you. Come against Satan with the full armor of God and praise on your lips. Nothing defeats him like the name of Jesus! I have been where you’re at and it is not fun. Sometimes we have to go through the valleys to get to the mountaintops, but that journey is not an easy one. When you’re feeling anxious try reciting alphabetically names of animals, food, colors, names, etc. or concentrate on each of your senses and reciting 5 items that you associate with each sense. It will distract your mind onto positive things. Praying for you.

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